Duck Hunting

A guy buys a brand new Lincoln Navigator truck for $42,500 and has $560
monthly payments. He and a friend go duck hunting in winter, and of
course all the lakes are frozen. These two guys go out on the lake with
their guns, a dog, and of course the new Vehicle.

They drive out onto the lake ice and get ready. Now, they want to make
some kind of a natural landing area for the ducks, something for the
decoys to float on. In order to make a hole large enough to look like
something a wandering duck would fly down and land on, it’s going to
take a little more effort than an ice hole drill.

So, out of the back of the new Navigator truck comes a stick of dynamite
with a short, 40-second fuse. Now these two Rocket Scientists do take
into consideration that they want to place the stick of dynamite on the
ice at a location far from where they are standing (and the new
Navigator truck), because they don’t want to take the risk of slipping
on the ice when they run from the burning fuse and possibly go up in
smoke with the resulting blast.

They light the 40-second fuse and throw the dynamite. Remember a couple
of paragraphs back when I mentioned the vehicle, the guns, and the
dog???

Let’s talk about the dog: A highly trained Black Lab used for
RETRIEVING. Especially things thrown by the owner. You guessed it, the
dog takes off at a high rate of doggy speed on the ice and captures the
stick of dynamite with the burning 40-second fuse about the time it hits
the ice. The two men yell, scream, wave their arms and wonder what to do
now. The dog, cheered on, keeps coming. One of the guys grabs the
shotgun and shoots the dog. The shotgun is loaded with #8 buckshot,
hardly big enough to stop a Black Lab.

The dog stops for a moment, slightly confused, but continues on. Another
shot and this time the dog, still standing, becomes really confused and
of course terrified, thinking these two geniuses have gone insane. The
dog takes off to find cover, under the brand new Navigator truck.

The men continue to yell as they run. The exhaust pipe under the truck
is still hot, so the dog yelps and drops the dynamite under the truck,
and takes off after his master. Then –BOOM– the truck is blown to bits
and sinks to the bottom of the lake in a very large hole, leaving the
two idiots standing there with this “I can’t believe this happened” look
on their faces. The insurance company says that sinking a vehicle in a
lake by illegal use of explosives is NOT COVERED

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