What My Mother Taught Me:

TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside – I just
finished cleaning!”

RELIGION:
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

TIME TRAVEL:
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into
the middle of next week!”

LOGIC:
“Because I said so, that’s why.”

FORESIGHT:
“Make sure you wear clean Underwear, in case you’re in an
accident.”

IRONY:
“Keep laughing and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

OSMOSIS:
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper!”

CONTORTIONISM:
“Will you “look” at the dirt on the back of your neck!”

STAMINA:
“You’ll sit there ’til all that spinach is finished.”

WEATHER:
“It looks as if a tornado swept through your room.”

PHYSICS PROBLEMS:
“If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you;
would you listen then?”

HYPOCRISY:
“If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times –
don’t exaggerate!!!”

THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”

BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:
“Stop acting like your father!”

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